Now, sorry to get all nerdy on you here, but it's my birthday and we're going to do a little math brain-teaser: One of these gents is six million times more talented than the other two of us. Two of us have children, though only one of us has birthed them out of a vagina. Of all three, only one of us tries to avoid blowing dudes.
Please answer in the form of a question, but please do not make the question:
"Why are you being a hater?"
I'm totally not. I LOVE GAYS. Ask anyone. Read some of my previous posts.
So this year really is the year that I'm feeling a little justice from the Universe for all the "You're too young" statements made in my youth by my parents. All my classmates who hit this milestone birthday last year have moved on to the downhill slide to 40 and I finally felt a bit of neener-neener-ness when my dial slowly rolled over the midnight mark to 35.
It didn't last very long. While I imagined in my younger and more tormented years that it would feel more worthwhile, I long ago had shed my hard-shell exterior that protected my inner squishy feelings, my sad and vulnerable and quick to be quite embarrassed fleshy soul. I've already hashed out those thoughts with the people that mattered, so it didn't really matter any more.
So this coming year I'd like to focus on something different. Did you know that on March 25, 1995, WikiWikiWeb, the World's very first Wiki[pedia] went public? What a better way to find a new focus, or at least some random March 25th factoids:
- 1924 – On the anniversary of Greek Independence, Alexandros Papanastasiou proclaims the Second Hellenic Republic. (This would be in reference to the Greek Helen...you know, of Troy? My middle name is Helene and I find this very interesting).
- 1965 – Civil rights activists led by Martin Luther King, Jr. successfully complete their 4-day 50-mile march from Selma to the capitol in Montgomery, Alabama.
- 1996 – An 81-day-long standoff between the anti-government group Montana Freemen and law enforcement near Jordan, Montana, begins. (This was a huge deal and I remember like it was yesterday)
- 1996 – The European Union's Veterinarian Committee bans the export of British beef and its by-products as a result of mad cow disease (I don't really remember the mad cow disease issue being that same year, weird.)
- 1347 – Catherine of Siena, Italian saint
- 1539 – Christopher Clavius, German mathematician
- 1643 – Louis Moréri, French encyclopedist
- 1911 – Jack Ruby, killer of Lee Harvey Oswald
- 1918 – Howard Cosell, American sports reporter
- 1928 – Jim Lovell, American astronaut
- 1932 – Gene Shalit, American film critic
- 1942 – Aretha Franklin, American singer
- 1965 – Sarah Jessica Parker, American actress
- 1966 – Tom Glavine, American baseball player
- 1982 – Danica Patrick, American race car driver
- 1984 – Katharine McPhee, American singer and actress
- 1999 – Cal Ripken, Sr., American baseball manager
- 2006 – Buck Owens, American singer and television personality (if you grew up on Hee Haw like me this is pretty devastating.)
Finally, some miscellaneous celebrations, which I would encourage you to double check if you think that you're being punked here:
It's Mother's Day in Slovenia, Struggle For Human Rights Day in Slovakia (which sound like the same thing to me), Maryland Day in Maryland, Waffle Day in Sweden, and what I may just believe is the Holy Mother of all holidays, the proof that I truly WAS born on the right square of the calendar: A holiday in the Roman Empire known as "Hilaria". I don't know what the Hell it is. I'm almost afraid to look it up for fear of ruining the laughter that's now stuck in my head.
Never mind....I looked it up....still laughing - they were celebrating the resurrection of a God who had gone mad and cut off his own.....well, not his ear.
So I guess the best gift I have this year is that the list of notable folks may not include me, but certainly I'm sure that between GoDaddy commercials and races, Danica's dying to see what bloggy-loser housewife was born before her, and Katharine McPhee, probably feeling down this year about her slow life around the set of SMASH is like, "I wish someone OLD would inspire me"....and they'll never know what they're missing out on.
Luckily, if my friends...my TRUE friends ever met them they'd tell them straight to their faces: "Not much."