Friday, May 3, 2013

It's Still Snowing, so it's Still Relevant

This holiday entry isn't early, it's LATE.  From like December late.  But I thought I'd get it in here now so I can start planning for THIS Christmas season.

Plus, it's still dumping snow occasionally in places some of my friends and family live, so it's still relevant maybe.

Elf on the Shelf.  Do you know about this phenomenon?  So this elf shows up on your doorstep addressed to the youngsters in the house.  The return address on our box was The North Pole.  Inside the box was the elf (of course) and a book.  The book explained that we had to name our elf, and that every day he would observe the happenings in the house and report back to Santa every night about what he heard and saw.  He'd return early in the morning in a new spot in the house.  Kids have three jobs here:

  1. Do not touch the elf.  Ever.
  2. Find the elf each morning before leaving the house.
  3. Make sure you behave yourself because the elf is ALWAYS WATCHING.

Our elf's name is Fred.  Upon the kids choosing that name, Daddy immediately pointed out that his name can't be Fred, as that is Santa's name.  Only it's not.  But he insisted for quite a while that Santa's first name is Fred, and it took some convincing to remind him that Santa Claus's first name is....SANTA.  Or maybe he was thinking Kris [Kringle] or Nick.  Or whatever.  But not FRED.  The closest Fred comes into this is Vince Vaughn playing his brother Fred in Fred Claus, the movie.

So.  It's Fred.  And he's kind of a tricky trickster.  Here's a sampling of his shenanigans:

Get a candy cane down without touching him. Dare you.

There was less syrup after school. They measured.
"All that syrup made my teeth so sticky! Be sure to brush good!"

The note says their mommy makes the best cookies ever.

Clayton was really playing with fire here...getting close.

Even elves need a little grown up beverage at their poker parties.

I think Esten really was annoyed at the waste of buttwipe.

Spa day!

Clayton refused to take responsibility for any scissor damage.

Sick day.

It was REAL sugar. They checked.

Clayton wanted that marshmallow BAD.
I don't know what kind of mischief that hooligan will be into if he returns this year, I'm just glad that for 11 months out of the year he's Santa's problem, not mine.