Facebook has been a great tool for posting my kids' observations, though pretty limited for content space. In case you live under a rock and don't follow me there, here is a compilation of posts from the past year~
(Clayton Praying) "...and thank you God for all the food, especially the kind with the white frosting on it, can you make more foods with white frosting because I love it, it tastes just like a marshmallow, or a angel wing feathers, or a fluffy white cat. Thanks. Amen." 7/19/2010
(Esten, on Love) Esten passed along some new found wisdom learned from his 8 year-old crush. "There are 3 kinds of Love. Married-Love, Friendship-Love, and the other one which is the best kind is the No-Matter-What-Love." Thanks, Lauren for that timeless truth. 7/7/2010
(Esten, on jail) I was watching one of the "Predator" shows, and Esten walked in just as the perv dumped a blender full of margarita all over the bar. As he was being interviewed by the cop in the trailer, Esten said, "Is that why you get so upset when me and Clayton spill things because when we are grownups if we spill then the cops will take us to jail?" hmmm...yes? 6/28/2010
(Clayton, on marriage) Clayton proclaimed he does not want any "wif-ez" when he gets big. Esten told him he has to or "people will think it's because you're not kind & there's no girls who will put up with you like mommy puts up with daddy. That, and you'll go to jail". "Really??", asked Clayton, clearly concerned. "Pretty sure, Clayton, pretty sure". 6/21/2010
(Esten, on laundry) I washed the boys' bedding. Esten sniffed his blanket, frowned at me and said, "But it doesn't smell like farts anymore, it took me a long time to get it that way". Boys. Ew. 5/27/2010
(Esten, on marriage)
Esten: "I wish I could marry you Mommy!"
Me: "But I'm already married to Daddy."
Esten: "Why did you pick our Daddy?"
Me: "First of all, because he's soooo handsome like you, and..."
Esten: "...and because you were the Princess and he was the Principal?"
(On brotherly love) I was cursing the stupid weeds I was dealing with until the boys crashed their dump trucks into each other, laughed and squealed, then Esten said, "Oh my GOSH, CLAYTON! I am having so much fun with you right now, wanna hug each other?" Clayton obliged, then said, "Esten, I like you so much for a brother, can I have a kiss too?" THAT my friends, makes the backbreaking part of pulling weeds tolerable. 4/25/2010
(On patience, none) I watched the "marshmallow test" segment on Katie Couric news last night. If you missed it, there's an OLD test still working on kids that they can either ring a bell and get one marshmallow now, or wait and get two marshmallows later. It's an indicator of their future successes, setting goals, self control, etc. My kids are SCREWED. 4/22/2010
(Clayton praying) "Thank you God for my Grandma and Grandpa and everybody and the grass and the Wii, and tell Santa Claus on the other cloud that I'm good tonight and he will bring me some presents, but on tomorrow, because it's a long time ago to Christmas. Amen." 4/21/2010
(On fashion) Clayton wants me to go to the "camel-frog store" and get him "camel-frog pants" and a "camel-frog shirt" and "camel-frog socks" so he can look like Uncle Ryan, except not with a scratchy face. 4/15/2010
(On bedtime) "Yeth, if you don't thtay in bed I AM going to thpank your fanny. I AM THEEWEEUTH." Just seeing if speaking Clayton's language will yeild better weethulths. ..er...results. 3/23/2010
(On ethnic heritage) I had a great Sons of Norway breakfast Saturday. Esten went formal, tie and vest. Clayton decided to go with the stained white tee from the dirty clothes basket. Both insisted that "Vikings" are actually "Pirates with TWO eyes and NO hooks." Bellies full of pancakes, krumkakke, and lefse, first words out of their mouths back at home were "WE NEED A SNACK!" UFF-DA! 3/21/2010
(On Easter Baskets) Esten shook every egg in his basket. No jingle of change, and it went back in the pile. He said Clayton could have those, because "they're just candy in there" and he wants "just all the monies". Clayton couldn't offer an opinion, as he had too much chocolate seeping out the corners of his mouth. 4/5/2010
(On clutter) On our way out of the driveway Esten said, "Mommy, we need to get you a new car." I asked what was wrong with the one we have. He said, "It's just way to messy. I don't like it anymore with all this stuff around in here." Time to clean up. 2/25/2010
(On repeating yourself) I feel like it's Groundhog Day. Every morning since Christmas, literally the first words out of Clayton's mouth have been, "Can I play the Wii now?" For Esten, for the past 3 YEARS it's been, "Can you get me some hot cocoa and make it warm and make it taste like sugar?" I'm not joking. That's exactly what he says EVERY TIME. No wonder Bill Murray's hair looks like that. 2/23/2010
(On Biblical History) I heard the sermon from the booster seats:
Clayton: "God died on the cross."
Esten: "No, JESUS did."
Clayton: "No, Jesus died in a SWORD fight."
Esten: "No, it was with a LIGHT SABRE."
Clayton: "The green one or the red one?"
Esten: "The RED one. It was a bad guy."
(On fleeting love) I am eavesdropping on the boys playing StarWars Legos on the Wii...Clayton told Esten "Please don't kill that guy again because he's on my team, and I love you." Ahhh, it just doesn't get better than that. Oh, wait a tick...Clayton just ripped the nunchuck out of Esten's hand and clobbered him on the head with it. Back to reality. 2/6/2010
(On practical birthday gifts) Grandpa got a new "tow-it" for his birthday, and Clayton was so excited to show it off to everyone and the cool way it flushes....so excited that he locked himself in the bathroom. 2/4/2010
(On Prophecy) I just learned about "Prophecy" from Esten. It is when one person is in the bathroom and doesn't want the other person to bother them or talk to them under the door. I can't wait to have prophecy. I haven't had prophecy in...5 years? 1/18/2010
(On Love-in perspective) I feel SO special right now...Esten just informed me that he loves me "more than our new TV, which is a lot because it's super awesome". Don't boys (and grown-up boys) have a way with expressing their feelings? You know it's serious when electronics are involved. 1/16/2010
(On physical fitness) I caught Esten "lifting weights" with a Costco-sized bottle of peroxide last night. I asked him what he was doing, and he dramatically put it down, let out a big huff, flexed his muscles and said, "I'm getting strong and tough to beat my daddy at wrestling. Do you have anything else that's heavy?" 11/13/2009
(On gift-giving) Esten thinks Kenadie needs a Three-Musketeers Barbie for her 4th birthday today, Clayton is sure she wants a Transformer guy. I am wondering why I asked for input. This cannot end well. 11/6/2009
(On fashion) Inside the mind of Clayton's "fashionisto" process this morning...Camouflage pants, check...Top half of Esten's pumpkin Halloween costume from 4 years ago with the awesome green leaf ruffle around the neck, check...Black leather Harley-Davidson jacket, check...Crocs, check...PERFECTION. 9/29/2009
(On Baptism) Grandma's been hinting about baptisms again...so I decided to ask the boys..."Do you want to be baptized?" Esten's response? "You mean for Halloween? Yeah, I'll be a bath-tie for Halloween, but Clayton, you can't. Mommy, what's a bath-tie?" I am officially going to Hell. 9/14/2009
(On Rodeo Action)
Me: "What was your favorite part of the bullriders last night?"
Esten: "I liked when that pretty girl [Princess Flinders] was riding that horse around in a circle and waving at me...and then she fell off the horse. That was my favorite part."
Clayton: "Oh that part? Me too. I want to go see that again."
(Esten, food critic) "Guess what, Mommy! Cat food doesn't taste very good." (note: we do not have a cat) 8/26/2009