Isn't it funny how when someone says they have good news and bad news, it's usually just bad news?
Esten came barreling down the stairs in his undies Friday night. He casually walked along the back of the couch and said matter-of-factly, "OK guys, I have some good news and I have some bad news". I have no idea where he has picked this phrase up, likely from Phineas and Ferb or King of the Hill for that matter. After Jason and I exchanged confused and hesitant looks at each other Jason said, "Tell us the bad news first".
"The bad news is that one baby wipe is still in the toilet."
That didn't really seem like bad news, especially considering the baby wipes do NOT go in the toilet. There might still be a chance to retrieve it.
"But the GOOD news is that ALL the other baby wipes went down."
We could not help but both break into gut-bomb laughter. Esten was annoyed.
"I AM SERIOUS HERE."
I tried to regain my composure. "How many of the wipes went down?"
"Like ten or something."
BREATHE. BREATHE. It's going to be okay. Needless to say, it took me and the plunger quite a while to undo the "good news" part of this dilemma. In reality, it's probably at least partially the same conversation we would have had with a plumber, in the alternate universe where I actually call on professionals to bail us out of maintenance disasters.
"I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is I can fix it. The bad news is you're going to have to sell one or both of your kidneys on Craigslist to cover the repair bill."