Monday, May 8, 2017


Remember that time I freed up all the space for pictures before our trip?

We need to talk about that.

First off, it was amazing. All of it. No parts of it sucked.

We took this camera bag/backpack that has our camera and video camera all through seventy million airports and customs and whatnot and took exactly eleven less pictures than we did when we went to Jamaica.

That is to say: Zero.

In Jamaica the camera glitched eleven pictures into our vacation. This time, I don't know, I guess we were just too lazy.

Lucky for you, who follow me here or other places, I'm not one of those annoying people who posts every picture of everything on my vacation. No. This vacation? I took five on my phone. I thought I took four but I was scrolling through my phone yesterday and found an extra. Are you ready?

Idaho Potato. We travelled a bajillion miles to eat a tuber from the Gem State. That is all.

My view just about every single day. I am an expert at doing nothing. My consulting services are available. Call for prices.

Hubs was being annoying and made me take his picture. That drink is called an Avalanche, and is blended margarita mix in a beer. I thought they were disgusting but it's a good way to keep your beer cold.

Random poster in a restaurant that had the word "Clayton" on it, so I snapped this and texted it to him at probably 3am or something. He didn't respond. :( It also says "Seamen" but he was too young to get the joke until this week when they had the talk/video at school.

I found this in my phone yesterday and literally had no recollection of having taken it. For a minute I didn't even know who it was. I asked Hubs about it. He said "Yeah. That was the day we got super drunk and I showed you how to use your Snapchat," which totally makes sense now. I am including it mainly for the pleasure of my in-laws who claim to "never have seen me drunk," and who say they "would like to see what that looks like". Apparently this is what that looks like. Also I still don't know how to use Snapchat.

Luckily there is this thing called the internet where you can find actual pictures of the things we saw and did because TBH Barbados is a really small island and the stuff that's there isn't going anywhere anytime soon. Also our travel mate took a shit ton of pictures of every damn thing, so let me know what particular thing you would like to see such as a tree or a flower or a bird or a piece of sand, and I will have her locate it in her photography index.

Here are some things we saw:

The Cornwallis shipwreck in Carlisle Bay. Our guide tried to tell us this was from Pirates of the Caribbean, but it was actually a Canadian ship that got torpedoed by a German U-Boat in WWII. The above-water view looked like this:

If you know me, you know snorkeling was a HUUUUUGE deal for me. I pretended that I wasn't scared to death but to be honest it was probably the three liquor-laden coffees I had in the morning before we left that allowed me to do it without losing my shit. The minute I hit the water someone yelled gleefully, "Oh loooooook! There's a SHARK!"


I have never been so thankful that my stupid uterus took a brief break from sapping me of all my iron deposits in my life.

But don't worry. That shark? It turned out to only be a barracuda.


Other than that my mask kept fogging up on me and the strap on my vest kept brushing up against my leg and freaking me out, I had a good time. Everyone really just wanted to see these guys:

Turtles. That they kept telling everyone not to touch but I was like, "no shit. I'm not touching that thing. And that thing also better not touch me."

We saw the Coast Guard ship, and it didn't make me feel better about their rescue abilities, because the ship looked like this:


And the crew looked like this:

Which made complete sense after we met the local cops and found out they pretty much just work drunk all day can have two drinks per shift and would like you to make that happen please and thank you.

We also saw a Sea Horse like this:

But he was probably just training for all the water on the track at this year's Kentucky Derby, now that I think of it.

We drank a LOT and ate a lot of great food including sushi almost every night. Hubs got in a little kerfuffle with the host at the Japanese restaurant over our reservations, which were under our name, and he was disappointed that we were not Asian, then acted like he thought we were stealing someone else's spot.

We weren't. Calm down. We get that a lot.

Overall, it was a fantastic trip. We missed the kids, but we were able to facetime them everyday before doing crazy things like laying in bed and watching Willy Wonka and an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie marathon.

I can't wait to do it again.

1 comment:

  1. SO so so jealous! Glad you had a good time (and no thanks to the margarita with the beer...)